“Moms Who Eat Fish Get Smart Kids” Says Aquaman

~ All that he’s missing is an ‘arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ ~

-ghoti- I just came across an article stating that a new research study has found that pregnant mothers who eat fish have smart kids.
-ghoti- I’m not even gonna try to say this isn’t BS.
-ghoti- Everyone knows pregnant moms who eat tons of fish get mercury poison, and give their little fetus junior’s mercury poison as well.
-ghoti- So why would someone make this study?
-ghoti- As most people are beginning to learn, supposedly by 2048 the world will be completely out of fish. Thus, all the fisher’s, sushi-chefs, and Legal Sea Food owners/waiters/welcomers/clearners/etc will be completely out of work. This doesn’t even take into account all the island nations and coastal people who depend on fish as an integral part of their diet. (Japan would just completely freak out. What good are your robots now Japan!?).
-ghoti- Obviously the researchers behind this study have been put up by these sea-faring capitalist pigs!
-ghoti- Don’t get carried away there sparky. The answers actually much more complex.
-ghoti- Sure, the companies want money. Sure, the companies don’t care if their customers get mercury poison and die. Sure, the companies want people to think fish is good for their kids so that they save the fish of tomorrow. But the truth of this study lies in the truth of the study.
-ghoti- Fish contain high amounts of Omega-3 fatty acids, which give humans good brains and vocab skillz. Apparently I don’t eat a lot of fish, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to get at is that eating fish does help your brain develop, so the people behind this study aren’t actually human at all.
-ghoti- They’re mer-people!
-ghoti- The mer-people of the great nation of Atlantis are finally initiating their long-awaited conquering of the land-dwelling humans who have steadily polluted the water of the Earth into a decaying pool of feces-like sludge.
-ghoti- See, the mer-people of Atlantis eat TONS of fish (because its kinda hard to keep a cow alive underneath the millions of tons of pressure experienced at the floor of the ocean). Naturally, the mer-people are mad smart. However, instead of amassing a huge army of bio-engineered sharks with lasers for eyes, they’ve decided to destroy us slowly. Crippling us just as we have crippled their great oceans.
-ghoti- And once we are at our weakened, mercury-filled state of abysmality, the aqua-people of the ocean will float up to the surface, riding on the backs of golden sea lions (‘cuz they can walk on land) and eat us.

Bastards.

0.o Teck

PS - for those who don't know, GHOTI is pronounced FI-SH. Try and figure it out. It just proves the uselessness of the english language.

Referance: http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/health/261650,CST-NWS-SEAFOOD18.article